Voodoo Penis
A certain married couple had a very healthy sex life. They
had sex everyday; in the shower, on the kitchen counter,
everywhere imaginable. In fact the wife was somewhat of a
nymphomaniac.
One day the husband announced that he would
be going on a week-long business trip. Deciding that she
couldn't go the week without sex she decided to visit a sex
shop after she dropped him off at the airport. She was
looking at the selections of dildo's and could not find what
she was looking for. She asked the man at the counter if he
had anything really special. The man hesistated, looked
around the shop, and took a deep breath, "I really shouldn't
be showing you this, but you look like a very special lady."
He took an old looking wooden box out from under the counter
and removed the lid. As the woman looked inside she
announced that it was just like any other in the store. The
man said, "Ah, but you see, it most certainly is not! It is
the voodoo penis and all you have to do is say "voodoo
penis" and then where ever you want it to go." The man
decided to demonstrate the powers of the "voodoo penis". He
commanded, "VOODOO PENIS, THE DOOR!" The dildo rose from the
box and began its work on the door. The door began to buckle
and sway. Splinters of wood flew around the room. The man
yelled, "Voodoo Penis, return to the box!" The woman was so
impressed with it she bought it right away and took it
straight home.
The woman, excited to try it, undressed and
commanded, "Voodoo Penis my crotch!" The penis went straight
to pumping. After three mind-shattering orgasms, she decided
that it was enough, only she had forgotten how to return it
to the box. After tugging for what seemed like hours, she
decided to drive to the hospital for help.
She put her
clothes back on and began to drive, quivering with each
thrust of the dildo. After one intense orgasm she swerved
all over the road. A policeman ,seeing this, pulled her
over, and asked her if she had had something to drink.
She
replied that she had a voodoo penis stuck in her crotch and
it would not stop screwing her. The policeman smiled and in
an arrogant tone of voice said, "Voodoo Penis, My ASS!"
